Saturday, August 29, 2009
Just let me vent...
Today I am bitchy. It's just been one of those days.
I am bitchy cause I got my monthly a frigging WEEK early - wasn't due till next Monday, and of course I had to get it while into my second day of vacation.
I am bitchy cause my bf and I were arguing and some (NOT all) of my vacation (that I waited all year for) was ruined.
I am bitchy cause I have to work Monday - and I really dislike working there now. Half the people there are just a bunch of stupid cunts. Plain and simple.
I am bitchy cause I feel alone and I don't actually have anyone that I can *confide* in. I vented to my daughter Friday.. all the reasons why I was arguing with my bf. Then of course I felt bad cause she should not have to listen to me! She was ok with it though, she is good like that. She knows I have no friends.
I am cranky cause I thought my *friend* would not snoop through my shit. Maybe I am over reacting - but making coffee and taking a fucking bath in MY HOUSE without asking is rude. At least in my book anyways. I would never EVER do that shit. Period.
I hate not trusting people - but I don't. People don't do things *just to be nice.* Least not the ones I know anyways. I will just have the office watch my house and board my cats NEXT TIME I go away. If I ever do anyways. So far, it's looking like it will never happen again.
I am bitchy cause the place I once loved - my vacation spot - lost it's charm and magick on Thursday... All because I was sad and upset. I actually *allowed* nice thoughts of bf and I being married on that beach...
Fuck it now. Shame on me for being a girl and wishing and hoping for a while. I should know better then that.
I am bitchy because I am 42 fucking years old and STILL not married. And really, who wants to get married at 50. I sure as hell don't. That's half my life - why bother.
Today I feel sad and alone. And it's really pathetic that I have to *vent* at a blog because in all actuality - I got nobody I can turn too. No best friends to call. Just me and me alone.
I am bitchy because it seems nobody BUT ME cares if my ass gets fatter and my body gets a bit more ugly and unattractive. I never made my goal of being 120 by my vacation, so fuck it. This week I will eat all I fucking want and I hope I gain 500 lbs and drop from a fucking heart attack.
People don't realize how HARD it is to actually *say no* to food that is tempting - and they just think you are being a bitch when you are not.
I already ate a pint of ice cream yesterday. Working on number two today. Not to mention the large pizza I got that I will be eating all weekend.
And NO it's not a pity party for me. I am just mad and I need to vent. I think I am allowed to be mad, without being called a whiner or whatever. And I think I am allowed to vent. Even if it's at a pathetic blog.
I need an *angry at the world* day. It's raining.. I'm alone and I got no one to talk to and nothing to do.
And, I really wish I had a best friend sometimes. I miss that. But then I realize, I'm probably better off alone, cause the last two *best friends* screwed me over.
My fault though, I trusted them.
I really do not mind being alone, and most days I am 100% fine with it. But every now and again I miss not having anyone or family to turn too. Today I guess is one of those days.
Whatever.
Posts
5 comments:
Yes you have the right to vent. I'm sorry you going through a crappy time. It will get better!
August 29, 2009 6:12 PMDear Sexy,
August 29, 2009 7:18 PMI would be bitchy too if I were you.
And you are definitely NOT alone.
For starters, you have your Son and Daughter. From what little I know of them - they are very nicely brought up.
Although one never knows what's on the other end of the internet, but allow me to offer my sincere understanding.
And I didn't do it just to be nice.
This is a crazy world we live in.
Most people think industrialization, capitalism, etc bring progress to woman kind! I have my serious doubt. Unlimited consumption and growth have already ruined earth - our only home. Mark my word, we have already reached a point of no return.
So many people in this "industrialized" world have no friends - why? Coz we worship money, 'progress', iPhone, gadgets.
Why do you think other than work, all I do, according to my blog, is FUCK? I simply cannot think anything worth my while doing and without further ruining the earth.
If I sound like I'm bitching - I am.
I spent 8 hrs on the road today, driving to NY and back to retrieve my son. I wish I had texted you and we could have had a bitch-fest together. I have my own reasons for one today....
August 29, 2009 9:08 PMI hope tomorrow is a better day for you!
Vent away; it's YOUR blog.
August 30, 2009 9:56 AMI don't have many close friends in real life, so i know...i understand what you're talking about.
I hope things get better for you soon.
The Temptress - Thank you. I know it will get better in a day or so. It's just the going through it part that sucks.
August 30, 2009 10:38 AMAmy - I agree. :) Although I am guilty of loving technology. I am a real geek when it comes to that stuff.
Hubman - Thanks! I think today will be a bit better. Least it's not raining...right now.
Ms Bitchtits - Thanks! I gotta be careful of what I complain about though.
It can get tough at times, but for the most part it seems ok.
Post a Comment