Sunday, October 11, 2009
Sunday is my lazy day. (but then again, they all are!)
Well, it's been quite a week. Because this blog tends to be very void of details, I cannot get into what went on during the week that has got me so worn out!
I am becoming torn between actually writing about my life's details here because of the fantasies that my bf and I have. I want to write about my everyday life here... but at the same time I want to keep our little sex kinks private... so I fear writing about too much personal stuff that might link me to my everyday world. This is why it is talk about sex and fitness. I only talk about my fitness at work IF I am asked...which usually, nobody cares.
I have no *real* friends in my everyday life. I prefer to not socialize with anyone from work because I have been screwed over a few times by so called *work friends.* so I tend to keep to myself. They do know about things that are happening in my life though, so if I was to write about stuff here - and they happened to find it... well - since they are just *work acquaintances* they might have a field day....
Know what I mean?
I'm really getting bored with this whole "meeting other guys to fuck" thing as well. I can't seem to find any that look good enough - for me. And if someone actually looks decent - there is a friggin attachment on their end!
I did see one in my email today - but now I just feel to fat and gross to even reply. He was decent looking, and not too old...so why would he even be interested if he actually saw me?
It's just no fun it seems. I go to one of the adult sites and just get so disgusted with the amount of bald, fat, married 50 year old men that contact me! It's gross. Really gross. And very discouraging as well. Sheesh... why is is so many men cheat? Why can't they just talk to their wives?
Plus - in the last 2 weeks I have gained 4 freaking pounds back. This has really upset me. It takes me so long just to loose one friggin pound.... and 2 weeks to gain back 4?
I am tired of chicken and vegies. Usually, I love them. But what the hell... I want pasta and stew and the ability to have a drink on occasion and NOT worry about how much I am going to gain.
I wanna get pizza with my daughter on a Saturday night, and not worry about how much exercise I need to do for it.
I want to be this person - that I can envision in my head... but try as I might - I can't get there. It really, really upsets me.
I am just tired of everything it seems this week.
I must check and see if I am PMS'n.. When I am PMS'y everything I try and hide wants to come out and scream loudly, for all the world to hear.
Maybe I can just sleep for a week? Maybe it will be better then?
Posts
6 comments:
Dear Sexy,
October 11, 2009 5:14 PMIt's good to hear from you, even when you're grumpy. I'd rather hear your sex stories but I'll settle for for whatever you have.
I hear you. On the one hand I'd want to tell the whole world what's happening to me but then I can't. I can't reveal my identity. I like to think I don't care what people think of me but reality dictates otherwise.
It really sucks that in this modern society, where everyone's for themselves, one simply doesn't have any friends anymore - who do you trust and who has time for you?
From what little you wrote about your family I think you have a nice couple of offsprings that are very nice human beings - something you can be very proud of.
Life is a journey without a reason nor destination and yet one has to set goals just to keep going!
I gained a few pounds in the last month simply not watching what I ate. Grrrrrrrr!
Kisses & Hugs,
-Amy
I totally get your plight right now.
October 11, 2009 7:38 PMre: dating sites: I get grossed out by all the bald fat 50 yr old men who contact me, too, and I'm 32, lol. But then I'll have these days when finally someone age-appropriate and attractive contacts me and I think just the same....he wouldn't want me in person.
I also don't have many real life friends. I swear its this state I live in, this area. Too much vanilla, too much repression, too much uptight idiocy, too many inbred morons. And the few friends I have don't know a lot about my "online life". Take for example my trip to NYC in a month for the calendar party....I don't have ANYONE that I can tell. In fact I have to hide it from family, the whole trip not just the reason.
You can eat some of those foods, you know, in fact you SHOULD. In moderation. And at lunchtime. It'll do less damage earlier in the day.
Amy - Thanks. seems like grumpy is my middle name. I think I will just restart my vanilla blogs, that way I can record all the regular life stuff and don't hafta worry..lol
October 11, 2009 7:53 PMThank you - my kids are great. esp my daughter - she is such an awesome girl!
Lily - I'm glad someone understands what I am talking about! There is a hot guy at new site... but I think, once he sees me he will change his mind... so I figure, why bother?
October 11, 2009 8:00 PMI don't have many real friends either. I know EVERYONE at work, and am the super friendly, nice one... but I don't let anyone *in.*
I have made friends with people after they stopped working at my place, but honestly - it's not much of a friendship. I hear from them maybe once a month.
I could NEVER tell anyone about mine and my bf's kink... The only people that listen to it are here - online or my bf... and he don't wanna discuss it all the time!
It's hard when you got nobody to share things with.
I know - I do eat those foods. My problem is that I KEEP eating them.
You just go ahead and write whatever you feel comfortable with. There are many women (and, men) who feel exactly like you do...Keep that in mind. You've got a great platform here to work with.
October 11, 2009 9:13 PM`x~Abe's Heart.
(Da Poet Guy From NYC)
Abe - Thank you. I agree, there are many in the same boat as me. :)
October 11, 2009 11:04 PMPost a Comment